A Blessing in Disguise
by angelicaaaSx3
Summary: She loses her memory, and she's determined to find out what it is her roommates are hiding from her.  TW/1D fanfic xx
1. Prologue: The Back Story

**Prologue **

Kylie Gomez was on her way to her friend Danielle Peazer's house. She had done something she regretted, she didn't tell anyone, not even her roommate who was her best friend, Emma.

Emma was finishing up work so she could get ready to go home. For the past few weeks she could feel something odd going on between her 3 roommates, Kylie, Nathan and Niall.

Niall was writing a song on his guitar in his room, wondering why he felt as if him and Kylie were drifting apart. Was it time for them to breakup after dating for 2 years?

Nathan was packing some of his things into a duffel bag, ready to leave. He just had to write a note to leave for Kylie and break the news to Niall. He wasn't at all proud of what he had done.

Nathan was about to tell Niall that Kylie was cheating on him, and that Nathan was the 3rd party.

Kylie was about to tell Danielle what she promised she wouldn't tell.

Emma was still confused about everything but she was about to find out.

"I don't know if I can do it anymore," Kylie told Danielle when the door opened. "I promised Nathan."

"Niall, mate. There's something I gotta tell'ya," Nathan said when he walked into Niall's bedroom door.

There was a car accident. With Nathan and Kylie. He came out fine, but she suffered a concussion and lost her memory.

"Now," Emma said after Niall and Nathan revealed to her what their argument was about. "You 2 are gonna have to pretend you don't hate each other, for Kylie's sake. She probably won't remember much. We'll tell her everything when the time is right... Hopefully she doesn't find anything weird and asks," she sighed pushing her hair back. "And you 2 are idiots." She added.


	2. Chapter 1: My Second Beginning

**Chapter 1**

They_ say near death experiences change our perspective on things. It makes you more grateful for everything in your life and you change to be a better person._

_I've had a near death experience twice and it's changed my perspective. Scratch that, it hasn't just changed my perspective, it's changed my entire life._

"Wake up! Please, please wake up," I heard an unfamiliar Irish voice plead. I could hear everything that was going on around me, but my eyelids were too heavy to be opened. In fact, my entire body felt like it was being pushed down by the gravity of the earth. I couldn't move at all. I would've squeezed the hand that held mine if only I could.

I heard the constant begging of the person right next to me. The soft sobbing of someone from the far corner. I could even hear the footsteps of the doctor who had just walked in. If anything, my sense of hearing had multiplied the whole time I was "asleep".

"She should wake up any minute now," a deep manly voice said. Probably the doctor, I mean who else would say something like that in a room of crying people, right? It puzzled me, what the hell were these people crying for?

About 5 minutes later, it felt as if whatever it was that was holding me down vanished into thin air. I could feel everything in my body now. I still couldn't speak or open my eyes. But I knew I had to do something to get their attention. Then it hit me. I squeezed the hand of the person who was still begging me to wake up.

His sobbing came to a sudden stop as I felt his head being lifted off my arm.  
>"She moved," he said.<br>"What?" I heard a familiar voice. _Emma?  
><em>"She just squeezed my hand." The boy said again.  
>"Kylie, please open your eyes honey," I heard my mom this time. I felt at least 5 people crowding around the bed now. <em>Open your damn eyes!<em>

My eyelids finally slowly opened up. My vision was blurred, but I could roughly make out who was in the room. My best friend, Emma. My mom & dad. There were 2 other guys there but I had absolutely no idea who they were.  
>"Nath, get the doctor," one of the mystery guys said in an Irish accent. He had blonde hair with brown streaks and beautiful blue eyes.<em> Damn, he's cute. <em>The boy in a leather jacket ran out of the room and I heard chains hitting each other as he did.  
>"Ky, how're you feeling?" Emma asked.<br>"I've felt better."  
>"Ah, she's up," the doctor said when he walked back in with the boy in the leather jacket. <em>Oh wow, he's cute too.<em>  
>"We'll be getting the test results soon, her concussion was pretty nasty," the doctor explained.<br>"Is there a way to find out _now_?" The boy in the leather jacket asked.  
>"How long have you known her?" The doctor asked. <em>Wait, I know that very cute guy? Dayum!<br>_"Nathan and I have known her for at least 3 years," the Irish one said. _Him too? _I could feel my eyes getting wider in shock. _  
><em>"Er, I think we're going to have to continue this conversation outside."  
>"Mom, what's going on?" I asked.<br>"Um. You got into a car accident, the doctor said the concussion might have wrecked your memory quite a bit," my mom said trying to stay calm, but I knew she could break out in tears any minute.  
>"Kylie, what day is it and how old are you?" The doctor asked when he walked back in with the 2 boys.<br>"August 15th, 2011 and I'm 17." I replied with full confidence.  
>"Oh dear," I heard my mom mumble to the Irish boy.<br>"It's actually ahh, March 8th 2016 and you're 22 this year." The doctor said firmly.  
>"Youuuu're kidding, right?" I asked slowly sitting up.<br>"I'm afraid not," he said showing me the newspaper from his clipboard.  
>"Holy shit," I gasped.<p>

It was March 2016? I had lost at least 4 years worth of memories. Who knows what exciting stuff I had done those 4 years? I couldn't believe it was all gone.  
>"So um," the Irish boy said walking toward my bed, wiping a tear that was still on his cheek. "I guess we should get introduced, eh? I'm Niall. Niall Horan."<br>"And I'm Nathan Sykes," the British one said.  
>"It's nice to umm... <em>meet <em>you?" I didn't know what exactly to say.  
>"Excuse us, for a minute," Nathan said and pulled Niall to the corner of the room.<br>"We can't tell her," Nathan said.  
>"But we have to!" Niall argued. They continued the conversation, but it got softer so I couldn't hear what it was they were debating to tell me.<br>"Look!" Nathan said. "It'll overwhelm her a bit too much."  
>"Fine," Niall sighed, giving up.<p>

"Hey, Em?" I asked. Emma was having lunch with me while my parents, Niall and Nathan went to get me some clothes to change into. "How long have I been out?"  
>"Just a day. Nothing compared to the last time." I saw Emma's eyes widen, a sign she said something she wasn't supposed to.<br>"The last time?" I asked.  
>"Ahh, what?" Emma said trying to drop the topic. She was just lucky I didn't wanna know.<br>"What about... Neil and Ethan? How'd I meet them?" I asked.  
>"<em>Niall <em>and _Nathan_." Emma chuckled.  
>"Hey, gimme a break alright?" I giggled with her.<br>"Fine fine. Well when we were all 17 we moved into an apartment. Then less than a year later, Niall and Nathan were looking for an apartment to stay in. Wait, not together though. Niall came about a month before Nath. Anyway, you and me were living together and they both found our address in the papers and we took them in."  
>"So they're our roommates?" I asked.<br>"Sure are."  
>"Heyyy," I heard Niall say when he walked in.<br>"Here are some clothes for you to change into," my mom said. "Your father's signing the papers to get you checked out of here. The doctor said you'd be getting our memory soon. Staying in your apartment and spending time with the 3 of them should help."

"This is my apartment?" I asked.  
>"<em>Our<em>!" Emma, Nathan and Niall said together.  
>"Okay whoa. Have we had this argument before?"<br>"It's ironic because you were the one who started the whole "It's our apartment" thing," Niall said and laughed.  
>"Oh my God you have the cutest laugh ever," I said.<br>"I get that a lot," he replied as I was led to the amazing room that was apparently mine.  
>"Whoa," I gasped. The room had a bed that had sheets of my favorite color; purple. There was an acoustic guitar in the corner and a huge wardrobe at the side of the doorway. The walls were painted blue and had photos all over.<br>"We cleaned up a little bit," Niall said.  
>"Well go on in, it <em>is <em>your room," Nathan chuckled.  
>"Hey, why are there awkward empty spaces among the photos? I mean... it looks like there used to be some stuff on here," I added when they looked confused.<br>"Just some stuff you took down.. stuff of your past and y'know," Emma said.  
>"You mean like ex-boyfriend past?" I asked.<br>"Uhh, I guess you could say that."  
>"Oh."<p>

"Well, we're off," my mom said after about an hour. "You guys take care of her."  
>"Of course we will, Mrs Gomez," Niall said and walked my parents to the door.<br>"If you guys don't mind, I'll just stay in room for a little bit," I said to Niall, Nathan and Emma.  
>"Yeah, sure. I'll get the boys to go pick up something to eat," Emma said.<br>"Hey, I went the last time!" Niall argued.  
>"Fine, I'll go with Nath. C'mon Sid," Emma said and got her keys before leaving.<br>"Sid?" I asked Niall.  
>"He looks like Sid from Ice Age," Niall said.<br>"Ooohh," I said when it finally hit me.  
>"Well ah, you might want some time alone in your room so I'm just gonna leave you," Niall said with a smile. But I could see it in his eyes that he was a little disappointed about something.<br>"Yeah, I'll see you later," I said and shut the door as he walked away.

I explored my room a little bit while waiting for Nathan and Emma to return with dinner. I didn't find much, except some songs I had written on a book that was next to my guitar. I found some old handwritten letters too, from cousins, high school friends and a few from my parents. I liked handwritten letters. Some call it extremely old fashioned, but I preferred it to emails. I remembered reading a few of the letters and writing back to them, but there were also a few that seemed new to me. I guessed maybe they were the ones written after Emma and I graduated.

As soon as I heard the front door open, I ran out yelling "Foooooood!" and apparently Niall was doing the same.  
>"You may have lost your memory, but your love for food's never gonna change, huh?" Nathan chuckled as he set down the bags of food on the counter in the kitchen.<br>"Oh please, she's loved food the moment she could eat," Emma said.  
>"She loves food more than anything else," Niall said.<br>"Oh yeah, she _does_," Nathan said with a tone of cheekiness and raised one of his eyebrow which seemed so effortless it puzzled me for a minute as the two boys laughed.  
>"You know," I said sitting on the bar stool of our kitchen counter and taking my part of the take-out. "Just cuz I lost my memory doesn't you have to be careful of what you say."<br>"Nonono, that's how the boys always talk," Emma reassured me.  
>"Hm. I'll have to keep that in mind, then."<p>

After dinner I kept to myself mostly. Emma talked to Niall and Nathan in the living room while I stayed in bed thinking about stuff; trying my very best to remember at least what happened during the accident. I knew that if I tried hard enough, I'd pull through.

And then it came to me.

A vision. Not vision of the future like Raven's visions on That's So Raven, but a flashback.

It was loud; there was music blasting in a small enclosed area. I had my knees close to my chest. We were in a car. Emma driving, me in the passengers' seat with my feet up on the dashboard. And then a white light that seemed to get brighter, but neither of us took notice. We were kind of just singing in the car. I don't know what happened after that but the next thing I knew I was screaming. I had bolted up right, and I was screaming in panic.

"Whoa, what's wrong?" Niall panicked, barging into my room wearing nothing but the jeans he had on earlier. "Oh shit," he added when I started to cry. He ran over, jumping over the bag that was in the way like a pro and got next to me in bed.  
>"Sh, sh, it's okay babes," Niall said with his arms wrapped tightly around me as I buried my face into his bare chest which was weird for me.<br>"Where's Emma?" I asked in a shaky voice.  
>"She just went down with Nathan to our storage space in the basement to get some boxes. They'll be back soon." He explained, rocking me like a baby to keep me calm.<br>"Do we have food?" I asked and he separated from his tight grip and smiled at me.  
>"You and your food," he chuckled. "C'mon, I bet Em left some food. Hopefully I haven't eaten it yet."<p>

"What the hell happened?" Emma asked and the look on Nathan's face showed exactly how panicked Emma sounded, after Niall told them I screamed.  
>"I probably fell asleep, I had this dream. We were all in a car and then there was this white light that slowly grew but no one noticed-"<br>"The accident," Niall murmured.  
>"That's what I thought it could've been."<br>"But it was just you and Nathan the night of the accident," Emma said. And then there was a silence. Niall & Nathan's faces told me that Emma had, once again, said something she wasn't supposed to.  
>"Emma," I said. "You told me at the hospital that I was asleep for a day and and it was nothing compared to that last time."<br>"Idiot, you told her?" Nathan asked.  
>"It slipped out!" Emma panicked.<br>"Is that what you two said would overwhelm me too much?" I asked the boys.  
>"What?" Niall asked.<br>"In the hospital. You 2 were talking about not telling me something that would overwhelm me. Was that first car accident it?"  
>"Err, yeah. That's it," Nathan said. "Yeah, that's exactly it."<br>"Right, yeah. The first accident." Niall said.  
>"Well, if what I remember was the first accident... wait. When was the first accident?" I asked.<br>"August 15th," Emma said confidently.  
>"2011," we all said together.<br>"That's it!" I said. "I forgot everything from the time between that accident and the accident that got me in this situation in the first place!"  
>"Wow it's been a dramatic day," Niall said.<br>"Yeah," I agreed breaking up the hug between me and Nathan.  
>"You should get some sleep," Nathan said.<br>"Sleep's what got me into this problem in the first place," I rolled my eyes. "You guys go ahead, I'll just hang around here for a bit."  
>"Suit yourself," Emma shrugged as the 3 of them went to their bedrooms.<p>

Weeks passed and the only thing I could remember was still just that accident.  
>"The lads are coming over soon," Niall said lazily from the sofa where I had my head resting on his shoulder as we watched reruns of How I Met Your Mother. Well, they were reruns for everyone else, but new to me since I had forgotten what had happened for the past few seasons. I didn't need my memory to know how much I loved that show.<br>"Who are the lads?" I asked munching on popcorn.  
>"Friends of mine. Harry, Zayn, Liam and Louis," Niall explained.<br>"What time are they coming over?" Emma asked.  
>"They're in the lift," Niall replied.<br>"I'm out," Nathan said walking toward the front door.  
>"Where're <em>you <em>off to?" I asked.  
>"Meeting Max and Tom," he said as his trainers squeaked against the floor when he ran back to his room.<br>"Say hi to them for me," Emma said walking past the sofa again.  
>"Oh, hey boys," Nathan said when he opened the door. He opened it just in time for Niall's friends to walk in.<br>"IT'S OUR BABES, NIALL!" One of them cheered. He had an odd accent, not one I've ever heard before. He had jet black hair in an extremely sexy quiff. His ears were pierced and he had a tattoo on his wrist. "Oh, right, Kylie doesn't remember us," he said in a different accent which sounded more natural for him.  
>"I'm Zayn," he introduced himself when I sat upright.<br>"I'm Harry," the next one said. He had an unbelievably dreamy smile with a pair of cute dimples to match. His curls framed his face just right, and he had beautiful green eyes.  
>"I'm Liam." He had short straight hair that was a tad bit curled. He had a pretty deep voice and a distinct birthmark on his neck.<br>"And I'm Louis," the last one said. He had hair that reminded me of Drake Bell from Drake and Josh.  
>"It's nice to meet you boys, again, I guess." I said as they squeezed in on the sofa with Niall and me.<br>"How much do you remember?" Zayn asked.  
>"My memory, apparently, stops at August 15. Like 4 years ago," I said.<br>"Oh. Whoa," Liam gasped.  
>"Yeah," Niall said.<br>"Anyway, Emma and I have plans for today so, I'm gonna go get ready."

"Addison!" Emma and I squealed when we saw our other best friend Addison.  
>"Oh I am sooooo relieved that you still remember me," Addison said dramatically with her hand on her chest.<br>"Don't worry, Addy, I remember high school, just nothing much after that," I reassured Addison as we took our seats in Starbucks.  
>"So you don't know Niall and Nathan?"<br>"Oh she does, they were in the hospital when she woke up. Harry and the gang are at our apartment." Emma explained.  
>"And I spot Nathan," Addison said looking out the window.<br>"Hey," Nathan said walking in. He was joined by a guy in glasses and a shaved his head. Also a guy with black hair and it looked like he had several little scars on his face if you looked really closely.  
>"Oh, right," Nathan said. "This is it Max and Tom."<br>"Nice to meet you," I said.  
>"Sooo, anyway," Addison said awkwardly. "Wanna maybe <em>go <em>now?"  
>"Yeah, I think that's best," Emma said. At this point Max and Tom still hadn't spoken. "We'll see you back home, Nath," Emma said as she dragged me out of the store.<br>"What was that about?" I asked.  
>"Nothing!" Addison snapped. "It was ahh.. nothing."<br>"Ooookay. So the movie?"

"You sure you don't wanna stay over for dinner?" I asked Addison on the taxi ride back home.  
>"Nah, I'm good," she said.<br>"Alright. We'll see you soon!" Emma said as we got out of the taxi.  
>"What was that all about?" I asked Emma in the elevator.<br>"It's best you didn't know until you're well.. ready," Emma sighed.  
>"Oh," I said.<br>"Oh my God what happened to this place?" I asked when I opened the door.  
>"Boys. That's what happened," Emma said walking in.<br>"Hey!" Tom greeted us with his mouth full on the sofa. Apparently Harry, Liam, Louis and Zayn had left and it was Tom and Max who replaced them.  
>"Tom?" I checked before sitting next to him when he nodded.<br>"Where'd you get that pizza?" I asked him suspiciously.  
>"Kitchen," he said and I that's where I ran toward.<br>"Sorry about that awkward thing with Addison and the boys earlier," Nathan said when I walked in.  
>"Yeah, what was that about?" I asked as I jumped and sat on the counter before getting myself a slice of pizza.<br>"I'm not sure if I can tell you..." Nathan pondered.  
>"It's okay, I won't force it out of you," I said taking a bite off my pizza. "Just a little curious is all."<br>"Let's just say they have a little bit of history." Apparently my method of dropping the topic to get someone to tell me something works extremely easy with Nathan.  
>"Like dating history?"<br>"Not exactly but yeah. Don't tell anyone I told you," he said.  
>"Alright, I won't," I giggled.<br>"You don't know, do you?" Nathan asked in a more serious tone.  
>"Know what?"<br>"That I'd do anything for you, things like tell you stuff I'm not allowed to, knowing that it's gonna get me in a lot of trouble."  
>"Well... I do know. I promise I won't take it for granted," I said and kissed him on the cheek.<br>"Whoa, she has forgotten, huh?" Max asked walking in.  
>"Huh?"<br>"Nothin'," he said quickly while taking a slice of pizza. "So how does the whole amnesia thing work?"  
>"I don't really know... the doctor just said I'd get my memory back bit by bit, but it's gonna take a while," I explained getting a second slice of pizza.<br>"Second slice already?" Tom asked walking in. "Damn, this girl still loves food, huh?"  
>"Of course she does!" Max said in an accent, playing with my ear.<br>"Don't worry, he does that to everyone," Tom said and I heard the front door shut.  
>"Niall?" I called.<br>"Yeap." He replied. "I smell food!"  
>"We've pizza in here!" Max said.<br>"Can I have a slice?" Niall asked.  
>"Oh my God, Niall <em>asking <em>if he can eat food?" Nathan said sarcastically, and Niall playfully hit him on the arm while getting a slice of his own.

"Hey, Ky," Nathan asked me the next day. I was sitting by the kitchen counter as I read my book and ate some fries.  
>"Yeah?" I asked, with my eyes glued to the book. It was just the 2 of us that day. Emma had gone out on a date and Niall was meeting up with his friends again.<br>"I was wondering if you'd wanna join me at Max's house party today? I mean, it's not like we're doing anything else today." Nathan offered.  
>"Would be a bit awkward for me, wouldn't it? I wouldn't know many people there."<br>"Um, actually. You'd know everyone there, just you know.. memory," he said pointing to his temple.  
>"Rrrright," I said putting my book down. "Yeah, I guess I don't see any harm in it," I sighed.<br>"Great!" He said. "The party's at 6 so we'll leave by 5:30."  
>"Then I should get showered," I said walking to the shower.<p>

"Wow," Nathan said when I walked into the living room where he was waiting. "You look.. absolutely lovely."  
>I was wearing a white floral dress with a blazer, a matching clutch and a pair of heels. All found in my closet. I borrowed Emma's curler and got my hair, well.. curled.<br>"Thank you," I giggled as he walked toward me.  
>"And you're still not taller than me, perfect," he said adjusting his jacket. Then he put his hand on his waist offering for me to hook arms with him. "Shall we?"<br>"We shall," I said as we walked out the door. "You where a lotta chains, y'know."  
>"Yeah, I know."<p>

"D'aw, your scared," Nathan teased when we were in the elevator.  
>"No I'm not," I said.<br>"Sure you aren't," he said putting his arm over my shoulder and pulling me closer to him.  
>"Don't worry, there aren't going to be too many people there," he said as we walked to the apartment door with arms hooked again.<br>"Hey, there you are!" A woman greeted when she opened the door.  
>"Wow you are gorgeous," I said. "Sorry!"<br>"Oh right, I'm Michelle," she giggled letting us in. Nathan was right, there weren't many people there. "Max told me you don't remember anything from the past 4 years?"  
>"It's true," I nodded.<br>"That's horrible!" She said.  
>"Yeah, it kinda sucks," I admitted.<br>"But we're getting her through," Nathan said. "Hey, are Seev and Jay here yet?"  
>"Yeah, in the kitchen with Max. Tom, Kels and Nareesha are in there as well."<br>"Heyyy!" One of the guys said. He was what the girls would call "tall, dark and handsome". "I'm Siva," he said.  
>"And I'm Jay," the guy with curls said.<br>"Hello," I said shyly.  
>"I'm Kelsey, and this is Nareesha," a blonde girl said. Damn. All these girls were gorgeous.<br>"Something's bugging you, what is it?" Tom asked.  
>"Nothing's bothering me but like wow you girls are beautiful," I laughed.<br>"You are too, love," Nareesha said. "I see you're wearing the shoes I gave you."  
>"You gave me these shoes? Oh my God, thank you! I love them!" I said excitedly.<br>"She really has forgotten... she's been thanking me forever!" Nareesha laighed. At this point, the boys had left the kitchen.  
>"So what do you girls do?" I asked getting comfortable on the bar stool by the kitchen counted.<br>"I'm a dancer," Kelsey replied.  
>"I design shoes. Those you have on are something I've designed." Nareesha said making me go "Oh my God!" all over again.<br>"And I'm an actress," Michelle replied.  
>"Oh that I know. I still remember seeing you on Coronation Street," I giggled.<p>

"Hey," I heard someone from behind me. I was standing at the balcony of the apartment with the wind blowing my hair back. There was a beautiful view from there.  
>"Hi," I said when Jay joined me.<br>"Penny for your thoughts?"  
>"I just don't feel... right here. I'unno," I sighed.<br>"It's probably just because you don't remember much of us... but it's alright, I'm sure you'll warm up to everybody."  
>"I'm sure I will, too. But just not right now, I guess. Cool tattoo, by the way."<br>"Thanks," he said looking at the tattoo himself. "I have a pet lizard back home, and you love her to pieces."  
>"Really?"<br>"Yeah. You should come by sometime, she really misses you. Her name's Neytiri and she's one of the reasons you love coming over."  
>"I've always wanted a pet lizard bu-"<br>"You're mom's scared as hell of them," Jay finished.  
>"Yeah," I laughed.<br>"By the way, I suggest you call a taxi soon. Nath's leathered so you're gonna want a ride ready," Jay winked.  
>"Thanks," I chuckled.<p>

About an hour later, Nathan was ready to go home. Well, not exactly ready, but the rest of the boys thought it was best for me to bring him home.  
>"Didn't see much of you tonight," Nathan said in the taxi.<br>"Yeah, well... wasn't in a partying mood I guess?"  
>"You rarely ever are. You're usually the one who just sits at a corner with a beer at night outs and parties," Nathan explained.<br>"Hmm. Sounds like me. The killjoy one," I chuckled.  
>"Hey, you wanna go out for lunch with me tomorrow?" Nathan asked.<br>"As much as I'd love to, I've already made plans with Niall for lunch," I said.  
>"Oh. That's alright..." Nathan said. He sounded like he was going to crash soon. "I'll make plans with you some other time."<br>"Go to sleep, you. It's quite a long ride," I said as I tilted his head to be placed on my shoulder. "There you go."

"Good morning," I greeted Emma who was in the kitchen making some coffee. "Thanks," I said grabbing myself a mug that had coffee.  
>"How was the party last night?" Emma asked.<br>"It was... fun.."  
>"Oh c'mon. I know you. You rarely ever have fun in the first place."<br>"Well.. it was a bit weird. Everyone was having loads of fun and all."  
>"Did you get to talk to anyone much?" Emma said as Niall walked into the kitchen to join us.<br>"I got introduced- well, re-introduced I guess, to Kelsey, Nareesha, Michelle, Jay and Siva. Didn't really talk to them much. Jay did tell me about his lizard, though."  
>"Oh you love Tia," Niall said.<br>"I thought she was Neytiri?"  
>"Yeah, well. We call her Tia too," Emma said. "Where's Nath?"<br>"Leathered in his room," Niall said. He had helped me to get Nathan up to our apartment the previous night.  
>"We should get him some tea then," Emma said getting a mug.<p>

"Good morning to you," I teased as Nathan walked out of his room at 1 in the afternoon, limping like a zombie with an empty mug which was earlier brought to him by me.  
>"Where're you off to, dressed so lovely again?" Nathan asked in a dead voice as I rushed to find my shoes. I was wearing a simple top with a leather jacket and jeans and I was gonna get my Supras to match.<br>"Lunch with Niall, remember?"  
>"Oh right," he said sitting next to me on the sofa. "Where <em>is <em>Niall?"  
>"He went ahead. He had to meet Zayn about something, i'unno," I said. Then I got up and took his mug for him and brought it to the kitchen.<br>"You know it's weird that you're going out when I'm so hungover. Usually you and Emma cancel your plans to slap me sober. Literally," he emphasized with a little smirk.  
>"Really?"<br>"Yeah."  
>"Well, I'm sure Emma can do that on her own this one time. I gotta go," I said and kissed his cheek before dashing to the door.<p>

"My friend Niall's in there," I told the waiter when I got to Nando's.  
>"You're... Kylie Gomez?"<br>"Yeap."  
>"Come on in."<br>"Hey, sorry I'm a little late," I told Niall.  
>"It's okay, you're always late," he teased. "Is Nath up yet?""<br>"Yeah, he woke up before I left. Have you ordered?"  
>"Uh-huh. But don't worry, I know your usual order," he smiled sweetly.<br>But his sweet smile slowly disappeared, and I saw the disappointment return into his eyes.  
>"What's the matter?" I asked. He hesitated for a while as we were served our meals.<br>"Do you know that feeling... When you see someone you really like but you can't tell them?" He said.  
>"Yeah, I've had that feeling before in school. Is there anything you news help with in that field?"<br>"Let's just enjoy our lunch?" He chuckled nervously trying to drop the topic.

After lunch, I went home while Niall had to go see Louis and Harry this time. I was sitting with Emma and Nathan as we watched movies on HBO.  
>"Hey, do you guys know if Niall has a girlfriend?" I asked out of the blue causing Nathan to almost spat his Coke out.<br>"Ahh, well he says it's currently complicated..." Emma said.  
>"Why though?" Nathan asked.<br>"Well, he asked earlier about that feeling you get when you see someone you really like but you can't tell them," I quoted Niall from earlier.  
>"Thaaaat's what he meant when he said it was complicated," Nathan said.<br>"Oh," I said simply.  
>"I'm gonna go get more popcorn," Nathan said awkwardly.<p> 


	3. Chapter 2: Curiosity

**Chapter 2**

Have_ you ever felt so left out you just wanted to break and run away? You feel like everyone around you is hiding something from you and no one talks to you anymore? _

_It's been months now since I've lost my memory and at this point Emma, Niall and Nathan were leaving me out of a lot of stuff. They say it's because things are hard to explain and because of my memory it would be either really hard to understand or too overwhelming for me to take in, but I knew it was more than that. Nathan told me once that he'd tell me anything I wanted to know, no matter how much trouble it would get him in. I told him that I wouldn't take advantage of it, but I really wanted to know. _

It was just the 2 of us again in the apartment, and I knew that it was now or never.  
>"Hey Nath, I said walking out to the living room where he was on his laptop.<br>"Hey," he said. "Is something the matter?"  
>I hesitated for a few minutes before I said what I wanted to say. "What are the things you guys not telling me?"<br>"We aren't hiding anything from you," he said defensively as he shut his laptop.  
>"Just yesterday you and Emma wouldn't tell me what happened on the day of the accident because it would be "too overwhelming" for me!" I quoted them.<br>"Alright," he sighed. "We've told you before that some stuff would be hard for you to understand and all... but I'll see what I can tell you. What do you wanna know?"  
>"Why does Niall seem so heartbroken whenever it's just me and him? You've known him as long as I would've, you should know why."<br>Nathan pondered for a while and said "I can't tell you about that."  
>"Why not?" I asked. I just genuinely wanted to know what was bothering someone who I considered my best friend.<br>"Because... that's one of the things we swore we wouldn't tell you."  
>"Fine. Either you tell me about Niall, or you tell me about what happened the day of the accident."<br>"I can't!"  
>"Please!" I pleaded. By this point, I felt bad for what I was doing. But I was close to getting what I wanted... Or, at least I got something from him in the end.<br>"Why is it so important for you to know?" He asked.  
>"I just... I hate that feeling I keep getting; that left out feeling because every time I ask about something, you 3 tell me you can't tell me and then just keep to yourselves. It hurts, Nath. So please, I just really want to know."<br>"You have no idea how much it pains me to see you hurt," he sighed. He looked at me as if he was finally going to tell me what I wanted to know. But that's not exactly how it went down. Speaking of down, he was looking down into my eyes and leaned in to kiss me.

It was awkward between me and Nathan for the rest of the day. Even more awkward when Emma sent us to get dinner together.  
>"So what do you want for dinner?" He asked as he drove.<br>"I'm fine with anything," I mumbled looking out the window, with my feet up on the dashboard.  
>"I'm sorry about earlier..." He said.<br>"You don't have to apologize. If anything, I should be the one apologizing. I was forcing it out of you, even after I promised I wouldn't take advantage of you doing anything for me," I said.  
>"And well.. if you must know.. the night of the accident. Niall and I had an argument and I went to the bar nearby, the one we always go to. You got a call from Al, the manager of the bar, that I came in angry and he didn't think I should be drinking. You came to pick me up cuz you felt guilty that you were the one who started our argument when you weren't. But when you did, I was in a fist fight with the guy who later chrashed his motorcycle into your car which caused the accident," Nathan explained, during which I got my feet off the dashboard and looked at him as he told the story.<br>"Wow," was really all I could say. What? I was expecting he'd _actually _tell me.  
>"Told'ya I'd always tell you," he winked.<br>"I am sorry though, that I seemed really... pushy about the whole thing.."  
>"I'm sorry I kissed you... and that you feel so left out. I promise, I'll tell Emma and Niall this too, we won't talk about anything we can't tell you when you're around so you won't know about- am I making sense?" He asked as he pulled over in front of what was apparently all of our favorite Chinese restaurant.<br>"Not really, but I get what you're trying to say," I laughed as I unbuckled my seat belt.  
>"And," I said as we walked into the restaurant. "Can we not tell anyone about the kiss?"<br>"What kiss?" Nathan smirked.

It was a Wednesday afternoon and I was alone in the apartment. Emma, Niall and Nathan had all gone to work. I was apparently on paid leave until I had memory of it so I could do my job right. I got bored so I decided to clean up a bit. I know, me, Kylie Gomez, actually cleaning up? Hah! I had done some laundry and was putting it up in each of our wardrobes.  
>I was done with my room and Emma's, and had moved on to Niall's. It was in a huge mess, but I can't say that I was surprised. I set down the laundry basket with clean clothes on the floor and opened the door of his wardrobe. I wasn't surprised by the mess, but I was surprised when I saw photos of us together pinned up in his wardrobe.<br>"I'm Niall's girlfriend?" I asked myself. "No, no,no," I chuckled. "It can't be. Oh come on, Kylie. Can't a friend have photos of him with his friend in their wardrobe like you would have in your school locker? Holy shit, stop talking to yourself, Kylie!"

"Hey Nath," I said after I heard music being played and a beautiful voice singing from his room.  
>"You play piano too?" I asked when I noticed the keyboard he was playing which I hadn't noticed from when I put the laundry in his room.<br>"Yeah. We actually wrote a song together. Not sure if you remember it, though," he said as I pulled up another chair to sit next to him.  
>"I probably don't," I giggled as he started to play.<br>The first part of the song was just him playing the piano. "This is actually the part you sing so... yeah," he explained.

"_We can stand so tall together.  
>We can make it through the stormy weather.<br>We can got through it all together,  
>Do it all together,<br>Do it all._

_I'll be your strength,  
>I will, I will, I will.<br>I'll be your strength.  
>Yes I will, yes I will.<em>" He sang beautifully.

At some point, the song started to sound familiar. And I felt like I had to sing the words I knew.

"_Hold on, hold on.  
>I'll be there soon.<br>So hold on, hold on.  
>I'll be there soon.<br>So hold on, hold on.  
>I'll be there soon.<br>So hold on, hold on.  
>I'll be there soon.<em>"

Nathan turned to me as I sang and stopped playing when I sang the last word. And then he cupped my cheeks with his warm hands and kissed me again.  
>"Another kiss we'll have to hide?" He smirked when we broke apart.<br>"_Another_?" Niall asked.  
>"Shit," Nathan and I murmured.<br>"Nath, what the _hell _is going on?"  
>"Mate, I can explain."<br>"You said you wouldn't do this. You said you'd let her on her own," Niall looked absolutely shattered. _Again? I'm so not going to ask about this. And I didn't want to see my 2 best friends fighting.  
><em>"Niall, I swear, it was my fault!" I said.  
>"What?"<br>"I did it. I kissed him the first time and again this time. It was a one time thing the first time and this was just in the heat of the moment." I lied.  
>"<em>In the heat of the moment?<em>" Nathan asked.  
>"Yeah, it was," I said giving him to look for him to just play along.<br>"Niall, please. If you wanna be angry with someone, it's me you should be angry at," I said taking a step toward Niall who in the end ran off to his room.  
>"Ugh!" I said shutting the door and leaning against it.<br>"So that's it? We're just a one time thing?" Nathan asked.  
>"What?"<br>"You and me, you don't think there's anything special?"  
>"Nath, I don't know-""<br>"Kylie, please," he said walking toward me. He was a little taller than I was, so it seemed so perfect when he pressed his forehead against mine and his warm breath teased my lips. "Like the song, I'll hold on because I know you'll be here soon." He said and walked away from me.

Dinner that night was extremely awkward. The 3 of us had sworn we wouldn't tell Emma about it. I looked down at my food most of the time. The boys sat across Emma and I at the table, so looking at each other was inevitable. I would feel Niall staring at me while he ate, but when I looked up to him he'd just look away or get more food. Nathan wouldn't even look at me.  
>"Alright, what's going on here?" Emma asked. "Niall?" She asked when no one would answer her.<br>"Just tired from work. My boss has been such a pain in the ass lately," Niall mumbled.  
>"Kylie?"<br>"Just thinking whether I should drop by Addison's when I go to my parents' house tomorrow," I answered. Wasn't a complete lie, I _was _going to see my parents the next day.  
>"Nathan?"<br>"Mom's sick," he simply said.  
>"And how are 3 different stories a valid reason for the 3 of you to not talk to each other?" Emma interrogated. She was good at that; if she didn't believe what you were telling her, she'd interrogate you and if you don't give her an answer, she drops the topic, knowing you lied.<p>

I left early the next morning, at around 7am, to drive down to my parents' house.  
>"<em>Hey, I left earlier than expected. I'll call if I'm staying the night xx - Kylie<em>" I wrote on a post-it which I stuck onto the key tray where everyone have to cross at some point.

"Kylieeee!" A familiar voice squealed when I walked.  
>"Hey Les!" I said hugging my favorite cousin, Leslie.<br>"How've you been?" She asked me as we walked into the house.  
>"Alright, I guess. Hey mom," I said hugging my mom. "Where's dad?"<br>"He's up in his office. He's got some last minute work to finish up."  
>"Do you think he'll mind if I go up there?"<br>"I don't see a problem with it. Just don't make too much of noise, I guess."  
>"Alright," I said putting my bag on the sofa and running up the stairs, 2 steps at a time to my dad's office.<br>"Mr Gomez, I've a package for you," I said.  
>"Kylie!" He said when I saw me.<br>"Hey daddy," I hugged him.  
>"Is something wrong?" As I sat one the chair across his table. I always told my dad everything. Even about dating. I was a daddy's girl, so he was always the one I went to for guidance.<br>"Well, it's Niall and Nathan..." I said. "Wait, mom said you've got work to do, you finish up and then I'll tell you."  
>"No, no, no. You can tell me know, I've just gotta email this to my assistant."<br>"Right.. I kissed Nathan a couple weeks ago," I started to explain. "We didn't tell anyone, we swore we wouldn't. Then yesterday I was hanging out with Nathan in his room as he played his piano and I apparently remembered how to sing a song that we had written together."  
>"And you 2 kissed again," my dad guessed.<br>"Yeah," I sighed. "Niall walked in on us." I said and my dad looked shocked. "He got all upset and I told him it was a one time thing and he just stormed off. Then Nath got upset that I didn't feel something special that I was supposed to. Said that, like in the song, he'll hold on because I'm almost there," I quoted Nathan.  
>"Kylie, I'd love to tell you what's going on but-"<br>"You're in on it too, huh?" I guessed.

"Do you feel anything though, for either of them?" Leslie asked after I told her in my bedroom what I had told my dad earlier.  
>"I dunno, Leslie... I feel like I should feel something, but I just don't," I shrugged.<br>"Well, you don't have to force yourself to feel something you don't. They probably didn't tell you this but they want you to feel whatever you wanna feel on your own, even if it'll be different from what you felt before." Leslie told me.  
>"I just feel so lost sometimes," I said as I lay down on my back.<br>"I guess that's the amnesia."  
>"Probably is," I sighed.<p>

"So are you staying over tonight?" My mom asked at dinner.  
>"I guess so… some time away from the apartment would be nice," I said.<br>"Yeah, your father told me. Don't be scared, sweetie. I'm sure whatever choice you make, the boys will respect it."  
>"Ugh, I miss home made food," I said.<br>"Been eating nothing but take-out again?" Dad asked.  
>"Yeah. Emma and the boys take turns on picking up take out after work," I said as I ate.<br>"Niall still works for that jackass boss of his?" Leslie asked.  
>"I guess? He did say his boss was being a pain in the ass lately.. but, he could have been lying, we all said stuff to cover up for the silence between us 3." I explained.<br>"I think you should call the boys tonight, to apologize, make-up and stuff," Leslie suggested.  
>"I'd rather tell them in person instead," I said. "But I will call them later tonight."<p>

"Hello?" I said when I called the apartment.  
>"<em>Hey,<em>" Niall said gloomily.  
>"Niall, I honestly rather talk to you about last night when I get home," I sighed. "But for now, help me pass the message that I'll be staying here for tonight."<br>"_I'll pass it on._"  
>"Are you still not talking to Nath?"<br>"_Didn't even realize he was here._"  
>"Niall, don't be mad at him, okay?"<br>"_I'll see you tomorrow,_" he said and hung up.  
>I ran my hand through my hair before getting ready for bed.<p>

I felt like I was starting a war. Between 2 friends who were starting to mean a lot to me again. And this wasn't the first time it happened, apparently. The day of the accident I had caused a fight between Nathan and Niall, which is why Nathan left in the first place. Who knows what was happening this time that I wasn't around?

"_Hey Nath. Just wondering how you're doing. I'm really sorry about last night. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. I'll talk to you tomorrow when I get home. xxx_"  
>"<em>Hey Ky. I'm not doing anything stupid like getting drunk cuz of my fight with Niall like the last time.. we all know how that ended. And I'm sorry I seemed mad yesterday.. I guess I was just expecting a little too much. I'm sure you'll understand soon. Good night, have a good rest, you deserve a little time away from us dramatic people, hah. See you tomorrow, love xxx<em>"  
>With that, I fell asleep on my old bed. It felt good to be in the bed I grew up in again. It was much more comfortable than my bed at the apartment.<p>

The next afternoon, I left my parents place to go back to my apartment. It was empty when I got there; everyone else was at work. And even though I was a little shocked at what I saw in Niall's wardrobe and scared myself by thinking I was Niall's girlfriend, I had to know for sure. Because I wasn't feeling what I thought I should be feeling toward someone I loved. I felt that way more toward Nathan that to Niall. And knowing that Niall was my boyfriend but I loved Nathan more felt so wrong. It felt like I was breaking Niall's heart without him even knowing.

He once mentioned something about Emma and Nathan getting boxes from our storage space, but I never saw boxes in our apartment. They weren't in the storage space either, I had checked on my way up.

And then I found them on the top door of Niall's wardrobe. It was marked "memories" on the cover and I opened it up like a little girl on Christmas morning. There were more pictures of me and Niall. Of us feeding each other and being all couple-y. There were marks of blue-tac behind them and I guessed they were the photos from my wall. I found a locket that had my name engraved on it with a photo of Niall from when he was a little boy and a recent photo of him. There were letters too, ones I wrote to him.

"_Dear Niall,  
>Wow, it's been a year already. Pretty crazy how time flies, huh? It seems like just yesterday we were interviewing you to see if you could stay with us and you were more focused on the pizza I was eating than anything else, hah!<br>We've had laughs, fights and tears. But you know what? I think it's that's what makes a perfect couple. Together with trust, of course. I trust you with anything and I know you trust me too.  
>I don't have much to write, I guess because I've told you everything I wanna tell you, heh. I hope you like the present I gave you :)<br>I love you so much, it's insane xx_"

There wasn't a letter as long as that one. Everything else were just little post-its that had small apologies written on them. I guess I'd slip them through his door whenever we fought. I did that for Emma when we started living together and had way too many petty arguments.

After searching through Niall's box, I felt I had a need to go through Nathan's room. I found a box under his bed. I opened it and found some stuff that was meant to be mine as well. Damn, they're hiding a lot from me.

"_Sept. 7 '15.  
>I told Niall about the other night, and the nights before that; basically everything. I'm sorry I made you promise not to tell Niall, I'm sorry I made you lie to him. I'm sorry I made you hide something from him. I know you really love him. I told him I was the one who made you keep it from him, that you wanted to tell him from the start. I'll let you 2 work things out. I'm looking for a new apartment to stay in so I won't bother you 2 anymore. For now I'll be staying with Max.. well, probably Jay, Michelle might hate having me over for too long. I don't think you'll catch me before you read this since you're working late tonight. So… I guess this is goodbye. I really love you, Kylie. I will even if you're in love with someone else. Promise to keep in touch. I'm really very sorry. xx<em>

_- Nathan._"

"What the hell?" I said out loud and then the doorbell rang.  
>I opened the door and saw Jay standing with a duffel bag. He had a look on his face that said he was searching for something.<br>"Nath's at work," I told him.  
>"Oh. He left this at my place. He hasn't come back so I thought he wasn't moving in wi- yeah, I'll just leave it here," he quickly covered up.<br>"Don't tell anyone, but I know he was intending on moving in with you." I sighed as I took the bag from him.  
>"Wanna come in?"<br>"I'm good. I was just on my way to get something for Neytiri to eat. You should come over, she misses you," He said.  
>"Alright, I will after my trip to Paris. Please don't tell anyone I know about Nath moving in with you," I said.<br>"Already forgotten," he winked and walked away.

"Hey," Nathan said when he got home.  
>"Heyy," I said awkwardly.<br>"About last night."  
>"I'm not mad. It's Niall you have to talk to. He'll be home soon with the food." Nathan smiled.<br>"Alrighty," I said.

After dinner that night, Nathan told Emma that Niall and I had to talk, so she left us in the living room.  
>"I don't know what came to me last night." I started.<br>"You're probably crushed, you've every right to be. Just please forgive me. And give me a break. I'm not gonna feel what I felt before for sure. Things are d-"  
>"Different. I know," Niall said. He seemed to sound happier than the previous night.<br>"Yeah, exactly. If I was in love with anyone before, I'd have the chance to fall in love with them again," I hinted and saw his beautiful eyes light up. "Or maybe I'd fall in love with someone else instead," I added, just to makes sure he understood what I was trying to say. "I've got a chance to do it again, if I don't remember. I'm not going to go down the exact same road I did before."  
>"You're going to try things again. You've got a second shot at things," he said as his face got closer to mine. I felt so tempted to lay my lips on his which I looked at.<br>"I love you," he said and his lips quivered like he was going to cry. He then grabbed my face and kissed me. _Wow, 2 kisses from 2 different guys. _  
>"I was <em>not<em> supposed to do that..." Niall said.  
>"It's alright," I said. "I guess I'm used to being spontaneously kissed by now." I joked.<br>"Are you still mad?"  
>"Who ever said I was?" He smiled beautifully.<p>

I had stayed in Paris for 2 weeks, visiting my grandparents. They had heard about my accident and wanted to see me just as much as I had wanted to see them. It was a 2 hour train ride from Paris back to London, so that meant a lot of thinking time again.  
>My seat on the train was by the window, and when the seat acrossme had been occupied by a red-haired male in an orange hoodie kept my eyes glued to the window.<p>

"Penny for your thoughts?" It was weird that everyone seemed to know something was bothering me. It was the ginger guy sitting across me who had asked me, handing me a tissue too. I hadn't noticed the tear that was falling from my eye.  
>"Thanks," I said taking it from him.<br>"Just don't know what I'm gonna do."  
>"In London?"<br>"No, with my life. See, I lost my memory a few months ago and through some snooping around, I recently found out that I was in a relationship with one of my roommates. _Then_, I found out something happened between me and my _other _roommate and he told my boyfriend who was then pissed. According to the second roommate, they had an argument but I dunno what happened because I was at a friend's house. He told me I had gotten a call from the manager of the bar saying I should come pick him up then the accident happened... Shit, I'm blabbering. I'm so sorry!" I quickly apologized.  
>"No need to. I can sense you've got no one you know to about it. You think that if you tell anyone of them something, that they'd use that against you." He replied. He seemed like such a nice guy.<p>

We had spent the rest of the train ride joking around and when the train came to a stop, I guessed realized we hadn't gotten introduced.  
>"I'm Ed, by the way. Ed Sheeran," he said holding out a hand.<br>"Kylie Gomez," I said shaking his hand and I left him with his shocked, slightly confused face.

"Kylieeeee!" Emma squealed as she hugged me when I opened the front door of the apartment. "Oh thank God your back!"  
>I looked around the apartment. Tom, Max, Jay and Siva were all there. With Niall and Nathan of course. And I then understood her distress.<p>

"Hey guys!" I greeted them laughing as I closed the door, with Emma still clinging onto me, similar to a koala on a tree.  
>"Is that Nando's?" I asked. When they all nodded, I broke Emma's arms apart and ran to the coffee table where they were eating.<br>"What, they didn't feed you enough in France?" Jay teased.  
>"I hate the food they give you on planes and trains," I said.<br>"How was it?" Siva asked.  
>"Kinda boring. Dint get to do much, I just stayed at my grandparents' house all week." I sighed.<br>"Hey, Ed's on the way up," Niall said and his name rang a bell.  
>"Ed?" I asked.<br>"Ed Sheeran. Friend of ours," _Holy shit!_ I thought as I felt my eyes widen and the doorbell rang.  
>"I got it," Niall said getting up.<br>"Hey Niall!" He was greeted. I heard Harry, Louis, Liam and Zayn with them as well.  
>"What's wrong, Ky? I thought your eyes were big enough already, never knew they could get any bigger," Tom teased. I was sat with my back facing the door, so there was still hope it was a different Ed Sheeran.<br>"This is just really hot," I said to cover up.  
>"Ky, come on over here," Liam called.<br>"This, is Kylie," Louis said.  
>"So this is the Kylie Gomez that Niall tells me about. Ed Sheeran," Ed said holding his hand out similar to how he had that morning.<br>"Pleasure to meet you," I said.

Ed went into the room with Niall and the boys, leaving me in the living room with Nathan, Siva, Max, Tom, Jay and Emma.  
>"So, you remembered the song?" Tom asked.<br>"Yeah. Well, kinda. Just that one part," I said.  
>"Does Em know?" I whispered to Nathan who shook his head.<br>"Have you got any plans for your birthday next month?" Jay asked. It had totally slipped my mind that my birthday was coming.  
>"I have no idea. Wait. How old am I turning, 23?" I asked.<br>"Yeap, same age as everyone else living in this house," Nathan said putting some food into his mouth.  
>"Damn, I'm old," I groaned.<br>"We'll plan a party for you," Tom suggested.  
>"Oh please no. I don't do good at parties."<br>"Oh yeah, _we know_," Jay said.  
>"Then that settles it, no party."<br>"No, that does not settle it, yes party," Max said.  
>"Please no!" I said burying my face in my hands. "I hate parties."<br>"Oh come on! It'll just be a small one. The boys, your parents- okay maybe not your parents considering we'll all be getting drunk and all that. And Michelle, Nareesha, Kelsey, Danielle and Eleanor," Emma said.  
>"Danielle and Eleanor?" I asked confused.<br>"Oh my God, you haven't met Danielle and Eleanor yet!" Emma said. "Danielle's Liam's girlfriend and Eleanor is Louis'."  
>"Oh."<br>"You love Danielle," Nathan said.  
>"She misses you. I should get Liam to call her to come visit." Emma said.<br>"She's definitely invited to the party," Siva said.  
>"I haven't even agreed to the party yet!" I said. "And hey. Speaking of people I miss, can I go see Neytiri? I'd love to see a lizard again."<br>"Yeah, of course!" Jay said.  
>"Like. Now," I said when no one moved.<br>"Oh right right," Jay said getting up.  
>"I'd love to, but I'm going to Michelle's set." Max said. "I'll see you soon," he said hugging me.<br>"Bye!"

I took a quick shower and got changed, so did Emma and Nathan as Siva, Tom and Jay waited in the living room. Before we left, I made sure to let Niall know where we were going. As I approached the door of his room, I heard the strumming of guitar strings, and the boys inside singing.

"_You know I'll be,  
>Your life, your voice,<br>Your reason to be.  
>My love, my heart,<br>Is breathing for this  
>Moment in time.<br>I'll find the words to say,  
>Before you leave me today. <em>

_Close the door,  
>Throw the key.<br>Don't wanna be reminded,  
>Don't wanna be seen.<br>Don't wanna be without you,  
>My judgement is clouded,<br>Like tonight's sky._"

I was standing in front of Niall's bedroom door, listening to them singing before it hit me that I had to knock the door.  
>"Come in!" I heard Niall say when the guitar stopped playing. I opened the door and saw Ed and Niall with guitars on their laps.<br>"Heyo. We're about to go off to Jay's," I said. "We might be home for dinner, I dunno. We'll call."  
>"Okay, have fun!" Niall said and I left.<p> 


	4. Chapter 3: The Truth last chapter!

**Chapter 3**

_You know that feeling you get, you're sitting in a room full of people you know but you feel so alone? You feel like everyone's a stranger, even if you've seen them before. You don't know who to trust, you don't know who's the good person and who's the bad. You feel intimidated by everyone and you just don't feel like you belong._

_That's how I felt at my own party. I still hadn't agreed to it, but Max insisted. It was like what Emma had said. Only the boys and their girlfriends. Well, wife, in Max and Michelle's case. I'm just grateful the party was planned a day after my birthday, so I celebrated my actual birthday with Niall, Emma, Nathan and Addison._

I had gotten closer to Ed, and he promised he wouldn't bring up my spilling everything to him on the train. But honestly I didn't know if I had enough trust for anymore promises. I had lost my memory, and lately I've been having paranoid feelings that I was trusting someone who wasn't supposed to be trusted.

I was standing by on the bar stool by the kitchen counter with a bottle of bear.  
>"I told you you were always the one sitting in a corner with a bottle of beer," Nathan said joining me.<br>"Just-"  
>"Not in the partying mood, like always," Nathan teased. "Sorry that this present's a little late." He said handing me a box.<br>"It's a charm for your bracelet," he explained. "I don't know where it's kept, Emma might now." The charm was a guitar, it even had "K" engraved on it for Kylie.  
>"It's really pretty, thank you," I said hugging Nathan. The previous day I had gotten a new hoodie from Niall, a blazer from Addison, and a scrapbook from Emma. She said she started making it since we met when we were 7.<p>

"Kylie! Liam and Danielle are here!" Emma called out and I walked toward the front door.  
>"Hey Kylie. I'm Danielle Peazer," she introduced herself. She was beyond beautiful. All of their girlfriends were.<br>"Hey," I smiled as we walked into my apartment.  
>"So how's the whole amnesia thing going?" She asked me.<br>"Alright, I guess. Kinda sucks that I don't remember a lot of things."  
>"I guess you've somehow been given a second chance," she said.<br>"Really?"  
>"Yeah. Things weren't like this the last time I saw you, it the day of the accident I think. You came by my place in tears. The boys haven't been pulling each other's hair, have they?"<br>"What happened? They've been alright, no problem at all." I said. I felt like I was close to finding out what was going on.  
>"Well," she started to say in a softer voice. "You were having problems with Niall and Nath. That's all I can say." So much for getting closer, I already knew all that.<br>"Emma called me from the hospital, Nathan and Niall were arguing like cats and dogs. When I got there she asked if she could stay over my place because she didn't wanna be there for the future arguments. Nathan said there was no need because he had already planned on moving into Jay's. Niall wouldn't leave your side, neither would Nath."  
>"But you weren't there when I woke up," I stated.<br>"I had to go to work, but I was there the whole night."

I gathered up all the little bits of information I had and pieced it all together. I figured that maybe this is a way for me find out what I had been missing these 4 years. I was Niall's girlfriend. But something was going on between me and Nathan as well. They were mad at each other. Well, Niall was mad at Nath. And at me too.  
>"Hey," Niall said interrupting my trail of thought.<br>"Sup."  
>"It's like 4 in the morning, your party ended an hour a go, you're not going to bed yet?" He asked.<br>"I was.. just on my way to bed, yeah," I said.  
>"Right, goodnight," he said making his way to the kitchen.<br>"Goodnight," I repeated as I walked to my bedroom door.

That night I had another dream of the past. I was in a lift. Not the lift of my apartment building. I was going up to the 12th floor, that's all I knew. I walked out of the lift, made my way to an apartment door and knocked on it. When Danielle opened the door, she gasped and took my into a tight hug.  
>"Come on in," she said. "Tell me what happened."<br>"I don't know if I can do it anymore. No one knows about this, I promised Nathan."  
>"Nathan?"<br>"I kinda made out with him a few weeks ago and we've been going on dates and stuff since."  
>"You've been cheating on Niall?" She said in shock.<br>"I don't know why I did it!" I bawling and buried my face on the pillow that was on her lap.  
>"Sh, shh, it's okay," she said stroking my hair.<br>"I wanted to tell Niall but I promised Nathan I wouldn't. Oh my gosh, what am I gonna do?"  
>"Listen, sweet heart," she said as I sat up. She wiped the tears that were rolling down my face and said. "I'll help. We'll go back to your apartment and we'll talk to the boys. Well, you will but I'll be there with you. Does Emma know?"<br>"No, she's had a lot of stress from work, I didn't wanna worry her or anything." I shook my head.  
>"Then I guess that's a 3rd person we'll have to tell," Danielle sighed.<br>"I've ruined everything," I said before my phone started ringing.  
>"Hello?"<br>"_Hello, Kylie? This is Al, manager of the bar. Nath's here and he seems too upset to be drinking. I think you should come over to pick him up._"  
>"Alright, I'll be right there," I said and hung up. "I've gotta get Nath. He's getting drunk and the manager doesn't think he should be."<br>"Give me a call when you're going to talk to Niall," Danielle said before leading me to the door.  
>"I will," I said and hugged her. "Thank you, Danielle."<br>"No problem, babes. And I won't tell anyone, not even Liam, I promise."

There was a flash, and next thing I saw was me walking into a bar. There was yelling and a huge crowd in the middle. I heard a familiar voice trying to break up a fight. I was small, so I squeezed in through everyone in the crowd without a problem.  
>"Nathan!" I yelled. He was punching some guy in the face, and I had known Nathan long enough to know that he had no chance against the huge guy.<br>"Nathan!" I yelled again and pulled him away effortlessly from the big guy. "Let's go, I'm driving you home."  
>"I've got my car," he said as we were led out the backdoor.<br>"I'll pick it up tomorrow."

Then, there was another flash and I bolted upright again like the night months before, except this time I wasn't screaming.

"The accident." I said. "I was cheating on Niall, I had gone to Danielle about it, gotten a call from Al, picked up Nathan and was crashed into by a motorcycle."

I knew it wasn't the right time, it was 4am, but I was getting my keys to drive to Jay's apartment. I didn't think about how much I was gonna get out of him considering he would be hungover or whatever, but I had to try. If he wasn't sober enough, I could always go to Danielle.

"Kylie? What the hell are you doing here it's 4:30 in the morning!" He asked scratching his head as he yawned when he opened the door.  
>"I need to know something no one in my apartment will tell me," I said pushing him into the apartment. "Nathan was supposed to move in with you, the day of the accident."<br>"I thought we wouldn't talk about this again, but okay," he said as his facial expression changed into a more serious one. "Nath was supposed to move in, yes."  
>"Because him and Niall fought."<br>"Correct again."  
>"Because Nathan told Niall I was cheating on him."<br>"Yeah," Jay said in shock. "You remember. How?"  
>"I had a dream," I said knowing he probably wouldn't believe me.<br>"Wow. And the rest don't know."  
>"They don't. Did you visit me at the hospital?"<br>"Yeah, I did. Niall and Nath weren't talking to each other at all. Em got home early that day, the lads had the day off and you were at Danielle's. Emma said Nathan and Niall talked in Niall's room and they came out yelling at each other. Nathan stormed out of the house and Niall wouldn't leave his bedroom."  
>I don't know what happened after Jay said that, because I had crashed.<p>

I woke up the next morning, in a bed with the covers over me. I looked around the room and saw a tank in the corner. I was in Jay's room. I fell asleep last night after I found out for sure the whole truth about the accident and me, Niall and Nathan. I got out of the bed to the smell of hot tea.

"You worried the shit out of me," Nathan said as he rushed from the dining table to hug me.  
>"I'm sorry."<br>"So you know, huh?"  
>"Yeah," I sighed as I took a seat myself. "Do Emma and Niall know I know?"<br>"I told them," Jay said.  
>"I found the letter you wrote me," I said. "You were going to move out?"<br>"I'll leave you 2," Jay said walking into his bedroom where I was asleep earlier.  
>"Yeah, I couldn't bare to see you in love with Niall anymore. I was being a selfish bastard, making you cheat on him. I knew that if I left you guys that you 2 could solve the problem. Even though you were in love with him I knew that if I really loved you, I'd be okay with leaving you with Niall, the one who made you happiest." He said. His voice shook and although he was looking down at his tea, I could see his eyes swell up in tears.<br>"You're not moving out. You're still staying in our apartment."  
>"But I already told you, I can't stand seeing you 2 in love with someone else."<br>"Don't you see? I'm not in love with Niall anymore. In fact, I'm not in love with anyone."  
>"Not even me?" He asked.<br>"I know it can be heartbreaking but, no. I'm in love with no one, not even you." I said and he looked back down at his mug again.  
>"But hey," I said lifting up his chin for him to look at me. "That doesn't mean I'm not gonna fall in love with you. Maybe if you play your cards right you'll get me," I winked and he hugged me.<br>"Now I've gotta explain things to Niall," I sighed and we both giggled.

"_If we could only have this life,  
>for one more time.<br>If we could only turn back time.._"

"I can't wait to hear the final product," I said as I closed the door behind me.  
>"I'm not mad at you, you know," Niall said as I sat next to him on the bed.<br>"I do now. Are you mad at Nath?" I asked. He didn't answer, he just played with his guitar.  
>"Niall."<br>"I'm not mad at him," he mumbled and I stared him down. "It's just he had you while you were with me and it's unfair that now he's getting you again." He said as his eyes teared up.  
>"Niall," I sighed. "He's not getting me, no one is. I don't wanna fall in love right now. I just got a new start and I'm not gonna start with a guy."<br>"And Nath?"  
>"I told him already. I'm not in love with either of you. If you play your cards right, like I told Nath, you might get me."<br>"I'll always love you, Ky."  
>"You and Nath both. The 2 of you will always have a place in my heart. And I'm sorry I cheated on you."<br>"It's all forgiven. He told me you felt guilty and had a fight with him about it but he forced you," he explained.  
>"Wow."<br>"Yeah."  
>"Hey," Emma said as she walked in.<br>"Someone's here to tell you guys something. N- Nathan! One minute."  
>"Niall, mate, I know you're really mad at me, you have every right to. I was being the bastard who steals his friend's girlfriend. And, if you want me to move out, I'll go."<br>"Nath, you're not going anywhere." I said firmly but I was ignored by everyone.  
>"Nath, Kylie needs all of us." Niall said getting up from the bed. "And yeah, I'm mad at you. Not as mad as I was before. But staying mad at you isn't gonna solve anything." <em>Aw, emotional moment! <em>"Besides, if you move out, who's gonna tolerate the girls with me? Getting a new roommate wouldn't be the same," Niall teasingly punched Nathan on the arm. The laughed and hugged it off.  
>"Forgiven?" Nathan asked holding out an arm.<br>"And forgotten," Niall replied and they did that handshake guys always do.

It felt great that all was peaceful after that. According to Emma, ever since Niall and Nathan talked everything over a drink or 2, they had never been so close.

_Over the course of a few years, I remembered more of the 4 years I had missed. Well, the major events, at least. I remember moving in with Emma. Meet the boys and even falling in love with Niall. I got all these through the usual dreams I would get. _

_I still hadn't fallen in love with Nathan or Niall, and I wasn't counting on it. Emma was just pleased that we were all enjoying and appreciating each other's company more than ever before._

_Everthing that was falling apart before the accident had pieced back together. I'd say that the car accident was a blessing in disguise._


End file.
